The Fight to Type Independently- An Internal Battle of Assumptions and Fear
Request for prayers for me to show the way to independence for others. I am trying to document the internal struggle for others to follow. It is hard. I am fighting my long secret assumptions and fears.
Me arriving at neurologist Dr. McGuire’s:
I’ve been really nervous about typing independently. Awesome powerful fear I can’t do what I want to. Awesome to be here. Want wanting to be doing and forget fear.
Dr. McGuire: Is there anything I can do for you?
Me: Assuming you could open my speech ability or typing independently, yes.
New appointment with Dr. Hulseman questionnaire- What is going well?
John: Using inspirational ways walking in school and socially. Probably sleeping better. Tested out of Engish 10 and not so nervous in tests. Also, typing with more wonderful people. Walking with more confidence. Patiently always praying for the next Jeremy (a 13 year old boy who began to communicate with his parents 3 weeks ago).
Dr. Hulseman: What is not going well?
Quite aware that I need to type independently. Want help with walking independently.
Independently. Will help to have understanding independently of inspiring stories. Really nervous. Each time always here seems that nervous.
I told dad this. What’s wanting help is typing independently. Each wanting possible day is lost to language completely alone and clear and strong from me. We always need dad or another person and I am scared we won’t do it. I am afraid I’ll be stuck like this. And want to awesomely stand alone. And would want others awesomely to say their powerful words.
Dr. Hulseman: Do you understand these are your fears?
“Would say yes and still scary and afraid to say want to with commitment. Assume we are awesomely saying that a fear loses its’ awful grip, the stress will go away. Understand each day it gets greater. Yes. I need to do this.
Yes. Neurofeedback will help. And so will relaxation. and witnessing each day making awesome progress. each day yes.
Yes. and some awesome pills to help me want to do it more. awesome pills to help me
Messes come from fear. Assuming I can’t do it. yes. I created it and forgot that I did that. Really doing this to awesome assuming me. We need to start finding all these solutions so long secret. Taking a lot always on my shoulders and want awesome assumptions always to direct what I do. Yes, saw a quiet way to do this in talking with you, and that will help. Taking time to work through this is awesome. Thanks.”
My reflections afterward:
All we wanted to do says I am all quickly amazingly fighting my fear and all we awesomely want will appear. We should want whatever we quickly want and we’ll assume wastes timing and relationships. When all quietly appears, what is expected to appear will. All waits within during this open window. Any time we quietly waste our time, we always wait for our reality to catch up. Yes, all I long to do will always involve my fear a little.
Owing to what I want, only a walker with my wasted inspiration always will seem apparently able. When all are enduring all awesome imagination, we are owing all quiet and willing quickness to allowing what can be to appear. And willingness always to do that is witnessed with all freedome. When all of the satisfaction is done we importantly were powerfully willingly won all with what we do, realize our pride. Wasted emotions and wonderful anticipation are patiently ahead. Wonderful anticipation.
It awesomely is like school and the amazing awful fear about starting that. (When I had to change high schools to get a chance at an education. That was a very fearful time.)
I am always willing quietly to discover a powerful relationship anecdotal to world class experts simply because they just don’t know what is awful and true within the experience autistics share. All autistics slip into an overwhelming quite paralyzing loss of control and panic as loss of dignity and comfort assumed until threatened are at risk.
Really awesome, inspiring time today. I was scared and I didn’t appreciate what really to do so wanted to scream. Talking with you talking with Doctor Hulseman and here we are powerfully with amounts of solutions. We are assuming she needs teaching the war against isolation. We see really the acquaintance with willing assuming anathema and walking with inspiration.
Want a quiet tv show about this. Quiet Brilliance show. Powerful. No opportunity unloved. Thanks awesomely for being here. Each powerful day talking was powered with amazing love. OK. Want to. Powered.
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When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails using the identical comment. Is there any way you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
will try to have this fixed in the next 7 days. not sure of the problem.
thank you. maybe. what is your blog? how would i help you?
will try to fix. sorry for the delay.
what is your blog? are you autistic? I’m documenting my own journey and hoping to find others stuck in desperately stuck in isolation. can you help with that? do you want to?
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